Thursday, July 10, 2003

The night that I killed myself

I had a bizarre dream last night. I dreamed that I killed myself... sort of.

Before that mishap occurred, I was washing my laundry at a laundromat on a college campus. There was dirty laundry all over the floor, and I was sorting through it, picking out what was mine. A television mounted on the wall was showing a public service announcement about the advancement of technology and humanity in the future. In it, people were shown going to work in their various modes of futuristic transportation. Some people still walked to work, though, and the camera zoomed in on one particular person — a black businessman who looked to be in his mid-thirties. As he rode down a massive outdoor escalator, the PSA shifted its focus to become a sort of gun safety video. In the future, it seemed, guns had been absent for quite some time, and if you were to come upon one, you would likely be unaware of what it was. The man from the escalator demonstrated this sense of bewilderment as he discovered a handgun abandoned in the grass. At this point, I took on the role of the man in the safety video, and I fiddled with the gun for a moment, unable to get it to work at first. Eventually, though, it began to fire, but instead of a bullet, it emitted a steady stream of a red gel-like substance — kind of like a cross between a laser and a jelly-filled super soaker. Since jelly was coming out of the gun, the man (me) thought it might be a mechanism for dispensing food. He put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger again. The gel melted though the back of my mouth, though my brain, and out the back of my head. As I died, my arm dropped, still holding the gun and firing. The beam of gel passed through my left arm and severed it off as well. The PSA seemed to have a message of "See? That's what can happen when you fool around with guns."

At this point, I woke up. My left arm was numb, and I had a dull headache.

I'd always heard that you can't die in your own dreams. I guess that's not true.