Thursday, August 19, 2004

Unsavory at any speed

I've noticed a stupid-looking new trend in auto extras lately — the home-constructed spoiler. Some of these things look like they were put together with an erector set. What makes people think this makes their car look cool?


Nothing screams Redneck like a giant, home-made spoiler on a Civic or a Neon.

Still, they're not quite as bad as the jackasses with noisy stereos.
Paul's Diamond speakers and two 10-inch Eclipse sub-woofers is child's play compared to that of 32-year-old Robert Benson, a wholesaler in the produce industry. Benson installed two eight-inch subs, four 12-inch subs and amps that total north of 5,400 watts, into his muscle car a 1999 dark blue, T-top Pontiac Trans Am with a spoiler and Marvin-the-Martian stereo knob controls.

"I listen to talk radio on the way to work every morning," Benson says. "But when I pull up next to someone playing loud music, I like to embarrass them. I like being able to make people jump two cars ahead of me."

Trust me, guys. No one's impressed with your stereo except you. The ladies don't hear that bass and think "Ooh, what a stud." They think: Tiny penis.

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