Dear Santa, please bring me a dictionary.

This month, as with every Christmas season, we've been posting letters to Santa on al.com. It's intended for kids, but inevitably, we get even more submissions from adults. I always get a kick out of the adults who write in — usually asking for a new football coach for Alabama or Auburn.

Today we received this letter:

dear santa,
for christmas this year i would like to get accepted to college. i have applied to NYU and i am waiting for their responce. if you can find it, in your overwieght heart to let me be excepted i would appreciate it. o yeah! this year im guna leave just carrot sticks, bc santa face it, your fat and im sure your chlosteral is way too high and your guna become sick or even have a stroke. if you need help with your physical theropy to lose weight and keep your arteries clean come to RPM! we will be happy to help you with your physical theropy needs

From: RPM TECH
Age: 17

I'm sorry to tell you, buddy, but not only is Santa going to leave you coal with that kind of attitude, but if this letter is indicative of your usual writing style, you ain't gettin' into NYU, neither.