Monday, January 26, 2004

Help stamp out bathroom banter

There are nine other men besides myself who work in my office. In the month that we've been in this building, I think I've run into a co-worker in the restroom one time. Yet today, for the fourth time, I ran into Creepy Bathroom Guy.

I walked in the door, and there he was, exiting a stall. I should have turned and run, but I was a fool. His greeting came almost instantly. "Hi! How's it going?" he quipped. With my curt reply of "good," I hoped that would be the end.

I positioned myself at a urinal and tried to think calming thoughts, when behind me I heard, "What's the weather like out there?" In my head I was screaming, "For God's sake, can't you just let me pee?! Why do you insist on talking to me in the bathroom, you sick bastard?!" Instead, I just answered, "I don't know."

His banter went on to inform me that he hadn't been outside since about 7:45 this morning and that the temperature was expected to drop very low tonight. Then he keyed my car and kicked my dog.

On my way home from work tonight I think I'll stop by the drug store and pick up some pepper spray.

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